August 13, 2014

Coming Out For The Second Time

How has it been since I came out for the second time?

Amazing. A huge relief. Scary at times. A little confusing but not that confusing, certainly not as confusing as life was before. My head has been incredibly clear.

I’m Tom- short for Tomás- and I am currently sitting around being well-dressed, smart, interesting and cool. I am mostly straight, I have two awesome cats, I have started rereading one of my favourite book series’, The Riverrun Trilogy” by S. P. Somtow, one of my favourite authors. I bought some new clothes and fountain pens on the weekend and caught up with friends. I am basically contented and complete.

One thing I really did not expect was it to be such a relief or for me to feel suddenly so much better and so much happier and confident. I thought it would be much more confusing and harder in my head.

So, how has it been otherwise?

Other people have mostly been supportive, or at least congratulatory. Seriously! It has been much much better than I had anticipated. I feel like I have a lot of people to talk to, and generally they are all pretty awesome! People have noticed that I look happier and more confident and that my demeanour has changed. I am constantly getting compliments about my new wardrobe (which looks pretty awesome). It also helps that in general my friends have been interested in the whole process! I think it is interesting!

Here is a photo:

However, I have been a lot more sensitive than I expected in regards to when things have made me feel upset.

The people who have advertently or inadvertently made me feel uncomfortable have fallen into the following camps:

On a much more positive and once again interesting note, since coming out quite a few people have approached me and said that what I have talked about really resonated with them- either because they understood a friend/family/other people much better, or because what I was describing really resonated with their own experiences and for the the first time they had talked about it openly and it was good.

So I guess one small action sometimes makes a big difference to the people around you in ways that are actually kind of awesome and unexpected.

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